new start

i'm sitting at mac's in changi's t2 now, waiting to head up to sign my contract for my new job, starting Feb. its a fresh start for me, a change from the only permanent employment i've know since i signed my first contract at the age of 19. to put that in its proper perspective, that's more than 10 years ago!

its been an undulating struggle internally for me, to take this decision to leave the rsaf. certainly i had to constantly fight the urge to retreat into my comfort zone and keep things status quo - after all, the rsaf has been good to me and to be honest, there wasn't really any reason for me to leave. except this little niggly feeling inside me that whispers in my head "this isn't really what you want is it?"

at the end of the day, the idealist in me wins through, as ever. so here i am, ready to make a significant change (and take a hefty pay cut i might add), to start something new in the search for new experiences, while i still can and before i settle down. now or never.

looking back at my earlier posts on this change, i realise that its been a long drawn process - but comfortingly, my initial thinking hasn't changed. comforting because despite the elements of uncertainty and doubt that still crop up even now, i know that its not something i'm undertaking on the spur of the moment. its something i've considered, in a direction that i've decided to take in my life - made all the more assuring by your support, and the support of my family.

why did i choose this job though?

i had been travelling in the states last month, for the better part of 20 days during which i passed or transited through a grand total of 9 airports. the final stop was home, and as the airplane glided into changi airport to land, i took in just how splendid and symbolic changi airport was to singapore - certainly in comparison to all the other airports i went through. and at that point i realised that i actually can't wait to start on my new job, managing this international icon. in many ways, its a gateway to the world for me.

its a new challenge, and one i'm looking forward to. and i'm glad that you are willing to stand by me in this. who knows where the road ahead leads to, but i move on knowing that you will be beside me, and that is enough for me to take this step and not look back.

ok, i'm heading up for the contract signing now, and start anew on a decision i had taken in august of 06. wish me luck.

i hate travel agents

my flight itinerary to new york was booked by my aunt through this 'reliable' travel agent friend she has been using for ages. now, my aunt's the sort who doesn't like the hassle of going through the detailed planning and arrangements for trips. in typically gungho fashion, she'll just up and go without a second thought. in some ways, i can be like that too, and i won't care less if the agent dumps me in siberia or the north pole.

but, not this time.

if i'm travelling alone, i don't really care as much how i get there or where i end up having to make my way around. but i do care for those i travel with, and therein lies the reason why i'm so irked by this travel agent dude, who seemed determined to screw up my itinerary. from refusing to reply emails promptly, or give me any information (or worse, wrong info) to help in my planning until late, to allocating crappy hotel locations, to unilaterally changing my flight arrangements without telling me. god.

i think its analogous to life, or at least, my attitude to life.

my world view is basically that life's a journey, and i'll take whatever comes along in my stride. but if i'm travelling through life with someone else, i become extremely intolerant of mediocrity, especially when it affects those i care for adversely. i also can't stand people telling me what's best for me, when what they really mean is what's best for themselves.

if life's a journey, i'd rather plan it myself than rely on travel agents to screw it up for me. i can screw up my life perfectly on my own, thank you.

be happy, first

my boss recently took to vociferously complaining to me that he can't understand me. called me a jumping bean - basically because he finds it frustrating that i can't seem to decide what i want to do with my career. and you know, i agree - i can't really decide. there are so many things i want to do, that i want to learn, that i want to try. why must i barrel myself in, and decide my future for the rest of my life now? isn't it better to go with the flow, and explore the world out there? try different things, new things.

so today i want to teach. the next year i want to do hr. and the next year, corporate comms. to be perfectly honest, i don't see what's wrong with that. sometimes, i don't see the point of trying to control everything, to plan everything and try to account for the very last blade of grass - only for the next breeze to come along and mess it all up again.

life turns on a moment - and more often than not, you don't see the bus coming along the side when it hits you off the pavement. or the wave that comes along and knocks you off your dragonboat. you think you're safe and secure, in control, paddling your way home - and the next moment you're in over your head.

but its always nice to have a safety vest isn't it? sometimes we choose to discard it, and we pay the consequences. real life choices, with real life consequences.

my friend's brother paid that price in very real terms, and its not my intention to make light of that. my point though is, that everyday we make choices, we take risks. we rationalise, we decide.

and our lives turn on these moments, which more often than not, fall out of our expectations. sometimes even, other people make those decisions for us.

for me, i'm happy. it has worked out the best possible for me, i believe. as i told mich, sometimes we have to take a detour to get to our destination.

i just hope that your choices in life bring you home as well, and not get you further lost. if though, its the latter, have faith and He will lead you home.

one little step at a time.

for the non-religious, i have a less esoteric philosophy that somehow works for me as well, and that is - be happy, first. it doesn't work the other way round i realise - working towards happiness. that's an oxymoron if ever there was one!

be happy first with what you have, and not gripe about what you do not. and treasure it will all your heart, because you never know when the next wave will come along and knock it out of your hands.

just be happy first, and somehow, everything will fall nicely into place.

once little piece at a time.

counting down

its that time of year where we all start counting down to a number of things. christmas for one, the end of 2007 and the start of 2008 for another, or the december bonus perhaps? whatever the reason, i've always enjoyed this time of year, and this year there's even more reason for me to start the countdown with an element of delightful uncertainty.

first things first, i'm heading to new york! really looking forward to that, and its the longest holiday i've ever taken i think! first time to the united states for me as well, and the company i'll have with me is certainly a great great plus! i believe it'll be a lovely holiday, simply because i'll be spending it with those who have a special place in my heart. so if you're trying to look for me between 13th Dec to 2nd Jan, i'll be in another continent, so don't bother. :)

the other thing i'm counting down to is my decision on the next step in my career. i'm currently considering a few options, and trying to work out what is best for me at this stage of my life. while the option to stay on in the military is still there as i wait for them to work out a proposal and route of advancement should i choose to remain with them, i'm also looking earnestly at the other choices i have before me. in some ways, i feel like the proverbial child in a candy shop, but with a lollipop already in my mouth. its a tough choice, really. but whatever i decide upon (and i will, before i leave for the states), i'm looking forward to it!

its certainly going to be an interesting december for me, and i'm glad i can share it with you.

yes, you.

happy holidays ahead!

beautiful to me

there was a man who lived in a house by the beach. every day in the evening, he would sit on the sand and watch the setting sun. to him, it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

one day, as he was sitting there waiting for the sun to set, a crow flew up to him and asked, "aren't you bored of it already? why do you sit here everyday, watching the same thing over and over again? "

the man thought for awhile, smiled, and replied, "because she gets more and more beautiful every time i see her."

the crow considered his reply, and with a puzzled expression, flew away.

the next evening, the same crow landed upon the man's shoulder, and asked him, "surely the sunset cannot get more and more beautiful with each day; on some days, it must be less so than others. i think you are lying, if not to me, then to yourself."

the man took a moment to ponder the crow's words, before replying, "it is true that sometimes the sun appears less brilliant, and sometimes she hides behind the clouds. sometimes she appears sickly so, and sometimes she seems sad. sometimes she's angry even, and sometimes just tired."

and the man paused a moment, before continuing, "but you know something? always, she is there at the end of the day by my side. now, isn't that beautiful to you?"

day after

thanks all for the birthday wishes!

and thank you for the wonderful time.

bangkok delight!

finally have some time to sit down and nuah an afternoon away, out of the office. so thought i should write a long overdue post about my bangkok trip! four of us were planned for the trip - serene, janice, yew ching and myself - but ended up yewching couldn't make it due to some family situation, and therefore was left with the three of us in the end. we booked the davis hotel (a boutique hotel in sukhomvit) - presidential suite mind you, although we thought it was more executive than presidential lah - and away we went. fun fun, haven't gone travelling with serene and janice before, so the two 'in-crowd' atas magazine writers towed this mountain tortise along and introduced me to the finer aspects of decadence. all these, interspersed of course with interesting tidbits of information like how it was possible to grow a penis from an arm, and how to differenciate between a surgically altered she-male and a real she.

the party of three

surprisingly, i thought we didn't do that much shopping - more dining really. symptomatically in typical singaporean fashion, the first place we ate after arriving in bangkok was... macdonald's! hhahha, incredulous i know. but we were kinda hungry while waiting for our room to be prepared and had about a half hour to burn, so off we went to the nearest familiar comfort food - the mac's beside the hotel. well, that being done, we proceeded to inspect our presidential suite - a tad underwhelmed i suppose given our high expectations, but the room was really nice nonetheless, although we hardly spend any time in it :p

after settling in, the next stop was of course - fooood! the gals had a craving for pad thai, and we asked the hotel concierge where we could get our hands on some. that was our first mistake - cos he directed us to some back alley towards a dubious looking place. he apparently had a tie-up with the restaurant and probably earned commission or something. anyway, one glance at the outlet, and the seedy looking restaurant manager who was there waiting (informed of our arrival no doubt by the now-disreputable concierge), and we decided we're better off finding our own food elsewhere.

after walking some way to no avail and derisive laughter from the vendors at a roadside shack when we asked them for pad thai (silly tourists, they must have thought), we hopped on to a cab and settled on heading to emporium to try our luck there. midway through though, the friendly cab driver empathetic no doubt of our search for good authentic thai food, indicated a quaint coffee shop place that he claimed served the bestest kway tiao in bangkok. not to let the opportunity pass, off the cab we hopped, and quickly put paid to one of the best kway tiao soups i've had!

stomachs filled from a satisfying first proper meal, it was off to shopping of course! emporium beckoned - though i didn't quite buy anything there. the gals managed to get themselves some stuff of course, but i guess i wasn't quite in the shopping groove lah. i ended up wandering around the shops outside emporium along the streets for awhile, before heading back in to meet them. next stop, the greyhound cafe there. it was kinda like project shop, only cooler.

serene and me with the cool blackboard thinggy where the menu was written

i loved the dessert.. does anyone remember what this was called? janice remembers it as "some fruity wonder parfait" - refreshing really, and coconutty, which is always good for me :)


done with our endeavours, and with satisfied tummies, we headed back to our presidential suite (must emphasise lah) to rest before heading to cabbages and condoms for dinner. its basically this restaurant that was started up as an initiative to raise awareness on safe sex in thailand. food was alright, and i liked the setting and ambience, and certainly the quirkiness of the decor. i'll let the pics speak for themselves.

ok, to be continued, need to head off now to do some shopping!

what's after thirty?

yes, i know my birthday hasn't passed, and neither do i really want to reminisce about the past soon-to-be thirty years of my life in my blog. thinking aloud though, i think there are several things for me to look ahead to, preferably before i hit sixty.

1. i'd have travelled to every continent in the world
2. with someone to share it with
3. i would, in fact, love to have my own kids someday - and watch them grow up
4. accomplish something sufficiently altruistic in my life
5. dive at all the best sites in the region
6. plan phiphi
7. write and publish a book
8. teach
9. and retire

what do you think? i think its doable.